20.) 50 Cent - Baby By Me
- "Have a baby by LXC, Baby. Defer your student loans."
Has anyone seen Ja Rule lately? You can come out, Ja. He can't hurt you any more.
Under reported story of last decade: Ja Rule is a 5'6", 125lbs. nerd in high school. He makes it big. Acts like he's a gangster because he's got a deep voice. Then the jock from his same high school ALSO makes it big. (50 Cent) But the jock makes it big on a song pointing out that Ja is actually more like Urkel than Irv Gotti. I love hip hop.
19.) Mark Ronson ft. Lily Allen - Oh My God (cover of the Kaiser Chiefs' song)
- And it's got a "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?"-style video. See the Kaiser Chiefs live. I beg you. Treat yourself. They are on my lifetime concert pass. Others: LCD Soundsystem, MGMT, Ben Folds, Ra Ra Riot, David Byrne, The Dears, Dropkick Murphys, Bouncing Souls, Smashing Pumpkins, The Hold Steady, Gaslight Anthem, The Roots, Tool, STARS, GirlTalk, The Decemberists & Arcade Fire. If they are in town, I'm going. For life. (Though The Decemberists are pushing it.)
18.) K'Naan - Wavin' Flag
- Get ready to be inundated by this song as it's the official song of the 2010 World Cup in South Africa. A World Cup of Basketball would dwarf soccer in 20 years, because basketball is fun to watch nearly all of the time. As opposed to the few seconds per half when there's a try in soccer. (Last two minutes of a blowout hoops game are interminable with the foul shots, etc.)
17.) Eulogies - Two Can Play
- Opened up for The Dears at Webster Hall in May. I ended up enjoying them so much that I bought their CD.
16.) Florence & The Machine - Dog Days Are Over
- Picked up this song when I read about it in a facebook status update from some LA Comic I'd never met. Who says padding your facebook stats is useless?
15.) Why? - Simeon's Dilemma
- Handsomest band since Hall & Oates. They look like an M.I.T. study group gone awry.
14.) St. Vincent - Marry Me
- She used to tour with Sufjan Stevens but wasn't My Brightest Diamond. That whole crew seems like it's a Montessori School for adults; like a continuing liberal arts education on wheels.
13.) N.A.S.A. featuring Kanye, Santigold, Lykke Li - Gifted
- Kanye continues his run of putting his best verses on other peoples songs. (Like Twista in 2004. Or American Boy by Estelle in 2008.)
12.) Matt & Kim - Daylight
- They received a record 5 "Funs!" on the Sparkler Fun! scale. (Five Funs gets you a game-used Neko Case t-shirt and server access for HotPinkGlitter.)
11.) Major Lazer - Keep It Goin' Louder
- " JWoww, you didn't cheat. It was House music all night. We were battlin' on the dance floor."
Monday, December 28, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Top 50 Songs of 2009: 30- 21
30.) Jamey Johnson- Women
29.) Casiotone for the Painfully Alone - White Jetta
- Who knew Jay Welch dabbled in beats and emo lyrics when he wasn't hosting Arms & Hearts with Nick Cobb?
28.) Mayer Hawthorne - Just Ain't Gonna Work Out
27.) Kate Nash - Merry Happy
26.) The Format - The First Single
- No idea why this is set to a Blur video, but it works.
25.) Flight of the Conchords - Hurt Feelings
- Best song of their second season. They won't be doing a 3rd.
24.) Artic Monkeys - Crying Lightning
23.) Maxwell - Pretty Wings
22.) Monsters of Folk - Ahead of the Curve
21.) Mickey Avalon - My Dick
- Song was a catchphrase between my roommate and I for most of 2009. And it was the basis of the Uno Du Juno party invite back and forth with Ollie Haselgrave, the most fun I've had on Facebook that didn't involve meeting KAG.
29.) Casiotone for the Painfully Alone - White Jetta
- Who knew Jay Welch dabbled in beats and emo lyrics when he wasn't hosting Arms & Hearts with Nick Cobb?
28.) Mayer Hawthorne - Just Ain't Gonna Work Out
27.) Kate Nash - Merry Happy
26.) The Format - The First Single
- No idea why this is set to a Blur video, but it works.
25.) Flight of the Conchords - Hurt Feelings
- Best song of their second season. They won't be doing a 3rd.
24.) Artic Monkeys - Crying Lightning
23.) Maxwell - Pretty Wings
22.) Monsters of Folk - Ahead of the Curve
21.) Mickey Avalon - My Dick
- Song was a catchphrase between my roommate and I for most of 2009. And it was the basis of the Uno Du Juno party invite back and forth with Ollie Haselgrave, the most fun I've had on Facebook that didn't involve meeting KAG.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
21 Weeks of Inattentive Parenting! NFL Follow Up
Here are my original NFL predictions from before the season. Conclusion: I'm dumb.
AFC East:
Patriots- 13-3
Jets- 10-6
Dolphins- 6- 10
Bills- 3- 13
AFC South:
Indianapolis - 12-4
Tennessee- 10-6
Houston- 9-7
Jacksonville- 5- 11
AFC North:
Pittsburgh- 11-5
Cleveland- 10-6
Baltimore- 8-8
Cincinnati- 4-12
AFC West:
San Diego- 11-5
Denver - 6- 10
Kansas City- 5-11
Oakland- 2- 14
NFC
NFC East:
Philadelphia- 11- 5
New york- 9- 7
Washington- 9- 7
Dallas- 5- 11
NFC South:
New Orleans- 12- 4
Atlanta- 9- 7
Tampa- 7- 9
Carolina- 6- 10
NFC North:
Green Bay- 11 -5
Chicago- 10- 6
Minnesota- 9- 7
Detroit- 4- 12
NFC West:
Seattle - 10 - 6
St. Louis- 7- 9
Arizona- 6- 10
San Francisco- 4 - 12
Let's define correct range as within 2 games either way. As in, if I guessed 4- 12 and your team went 5 -11, I was within correct range that your team was shit. It's easy to pick the Colts to go 12-4. They win with bloodless efficiency, like the Atlanta Braves of football. I'm on pace for 18 out of 32 teams. But some picks are so wrong, so egregious that they cannot be ignored, like Alex Forrest:
Worst 5 Picks:
5. Cincinnati to go 4 -12
- The Bengals are the worst run franchise in sports aside from the Oakland Raiders and possibly the Los Angeles Clippers. HBO's Hard Knocks convinced me they were more of a Mom and Pop operation than I'd originally believed. But I was wrong when I thought they wouldn't be a quality team. The Bengals play hard. The defense is very, very good. And they've been beset by tragedy but continue to win. Coach Lipincott, the grim reaper of the Practice Squad from Hard Knocks, still has a f.u.p.a. so big he could be the 4 seat in Dartmouth's womens 2 Frosh.
4. St. Louis to go 7 -9
- Anyone who watched the Giants over the previous two season respects Steve Spagnuolo. His guys are playing hard in St. Louis. It's just that his guys suck. The Rams are the best coached 1 -15 team of all-time. But watching a Rams game is like having your attention span water-boarded.
3. Dallas to go 5 -11
- Cowboys are challenging the Eagles for the NFC East. Wade Phillips looks competent. They just knocked off an undefeated Saints team in New Orleans. The Cowboys' ceiling is a possible 2 or 3 seed and NFC Champion. And if you're a Cowboys fan from South Jersey, you're still a tool.
2. Jacksonville to go 5-11
- My roommate had friends from business school over to watch the Giants- Redskins game last night. One of the guys was British. He asked about Tebow, "Isn't he just like Mike Vick but 10 years younger? Wouldn't Jacksonville be smart to pick him?" Response was, "Mmmm, if they can get him in the late first round, yes. And he'll look great as your quarterback for the London Jaguars in three years." Seriously, why did they ever put an NFL team in Jacksonville? That'd be like putting an NBA team in Oklahoma City...Wait, forget it.
1. Cleveland Browns to go 10 -6
- I have an ongoing bet with Yeshiva Powerbottom that Sarah Palin will be the GOP Presidential candidate in 2012. I am just as confident in my Palin pick as I was that Eric Mangini was a competent football coach. I was wrong about Mangini. People hate him. He's like the Nixon of Cleveland. He'll be lucky to be escorted to a waiting chopper. Christ-on-a-bike, this pick was terrible.
AFC East:
Patriots- 13-3
Jets- 10-6
Dolphins- 6- 10
Bills- 3- 13
AFC South:
Indianapolis - 12-4
Tennessee- 10-6
Houston- 9-7
Jacksonville- 5- 11
AFC North:
Pittsburgh- 11-5
Cleveland- 10-6
Baltimore- 8-8
Cincinnati- 4-12
AFC West:
San Diego- 11-5
Denver - 6- 10
Kansas City- 5-11
Oakland- 2- 14
NFC
NFC East:
Philadelphia- 11- 5
New york- 9- 7
Washington- 9- 7
Dallas- 5- 11
NFC South:
New Orleans- 12- 4
Atlanta- 9- 7
Tampa- 7- 9
Carolina- 6- 10
NFC North:
Green Bay- 11 -5
Chicago- 10- 6
Minnesota- 9- 7
Detroit- 4- 12
NFC West:
Seattle - 10 - 6
St. Louis- 7- 9
Arizona- 6- 10
San Francisco- 4 - 12
Let's define correct range as within 2 games either way. As in, if I guessed 4- 12 and your team went 5 -11, I was within correct range that your team was shit. It's easy to pick the Colts to go 12-4. They win with bloodless efficiency, like the Atlanta Braves of football. I'm on pace for 18 out of 32 teams. But some picks are so wrong, so egregious that they cannot be ignored, like Alex Forrest:
Worst 5 Picks:
5. Cincinnati to go 4 -12
- The Bengals are the worst run franchise in sports aside from the Oakland Raiders and possibly the Los Angeles Clippers. HBO's Hard Knocks convinced me they were more of a Mom and Pop operation than I'd originally believed. But I was wrong when I thought they wouldn't be a quality team. The Bengals play hard. The defense is very, very good. And they've been beset by tragedy but continue to win. Coach Lipincott, the grim reaper of the Practice Squad from Hard Knocks, still has a f.u.p.a. so big he could be the 4 seat in Dartmouth's womens 2 Frosh.
4. St. Louis to go 7 -9
- Anyone who watched the Giants over the previous two season respects Steve Spagnuolo. His guys are playing hard in St. Louis. It's just that his guys suck. The Rams are the best coached 1 -15 team of all-time. But watching a Rams game is like having your attention span water-boarded.
3. Dallas to go 5 -11
- Cowboys are challenging the Eagles for the NFC East. Wade Phillips looks competent. They just knocked off an undefeated Saints team in New Orleans. The Cowboys' ceiling is a possible 2 or 3 seed and NFC Champion. And if you're a Cowboys fan from South Jersey, you're still a tool.
2. Jacksonville to go 5-11
- My roommate had friends from business school over to watch the Giants- Redskins game last night. One of the guys was British. He asked about Tebow, "Isn't he just like Mike Vick but 10 years younger? Wouldn't Jacksonville be smart to pick him?" Response was, "Mmmm, if they can get him in the late first round, yes. And he'll look great as your quarterback for the London Jaguars in three years." Seriously, why did they ever put an NFL team in Jacksonville? That'd be like putting an NBA team in Oklahoma City...Wait, forget it.
1. Cleveland Browns to go 10 -6
- I have an ongoing bet with Yeshiva Powerbottom that Sarah Palin will be the GOP Presidential candidate in 2012. I am just as confident in my Palin pick as I was that Eric Mangini was a competent football coach. I was wrong about Mangini. People hate him. He's like the Nixon of Cleveland. He'll be lucky to be escorted to a waiting chopper. Christ-on-a-bike, this pick was terrible.
Top 50 Songs of 2009: 40- 31
40.) The Low Anthem - Charlie Darwin
- Casimir Pulaski's favorite song to play in a late winter evening while having a sad.
39.) The Fruit Bats - When You Love Somebody
- Song was all over the movie, 500 Days of Summer. Even though she plays a cold b- in the film, 500 Days of Summer did little to stem my crush on Zooey Deschanel.
38.) Luke Bryan - Do I
- Best narrative songwriting is still in country music.
37.) Golden Silvers - Arrows of Eros
- Beats may have been put together on a TurboGrafix- 16.
36.) Willie Nelson - A Horse Called Music
- Song is 20 years old but I heard it for the first time this Summer. When I was a teenager, I assumed country music was for ignorant bumpkins. I couldn't have been more wrong. I apologize for being such an asshole, Willie.
35.) Tor - Sufjan Stevens vs. Outkast "ATLiens"
- Best mash-up of 2009 was Tor's mash of Sufjan Steven's 2005 album that I proselytized to anyone who would listen.
34.) Mason Jennings - Your New Man
- Blog post about this song on Nov 24: No one is having better sex than a recent ex-girlfriend in one's mental cinema. Aside from mourning, its the worst kind of sadness. The week after a break-up is the only time I've ever thought the Priesthood made sense.
33.) Tor - The Tallest Man vs. Grand Puba
- Cause Pu-ba's everything/ And everything is Pu...
32.) Razorlight - In The Morning
- If The Clash were a happy band = this song.
31.) Owl City - Fireflies
- Look, I could massage the list and act like I didn't like this song. But I clearly did. Playcount is an unbending meritocracy.
- Casimir Pulaski's favorite song to play in a late winter evening while having a sad.
39.) The Fruit Bats - When You Love Somebody
- Song was all over the movie, 500 Days of Summer. Even though she plays a cold b- in the film, 500 Days of Summer did little to stem my crush on Zooey Deschanel.
38.) Luke Bryan - Do I
- Best narrative songwriting is still in country music.
37.) Golden Silvers - Arrows of Eros
- Beats may have been put together on a TurboGrafix- 16.
36.) Willie Nelson - A Horse Called Music
- Song is 20 years old but I heard it for the first time this Summer. When I was a teenager, I assumed country music was for ignorant bumpkins. I couldn't have been more wrong. I apologize for being such an asshole, Willie.
35.) Tor - Sufjan Stevens vs. Outkast "ATLiens"
- Best mash-up of 2009 was Tor's mash of Sufjan Steven's 2005 album that I proselytized to anyone who would listen.
34.) Mason Jennings - Your New Man
- Blog post about this song on Nov 24: No one is having better sex than a recent ex-girlfriend in one's mental cinema. Aside from mourning, its the worst kind of sadness. The week after a break-up is the only time I've ever thought the Priesthood made sense.
33.) Tor - The Tallest Man vs. Grand Puba
- Cause Pu-ba's everything/ And everything is Pu...
32.) Razorlight - In The Morning
- If The Clash were a happy band = this song.
31.) Owl City - Fireflies
- Look, I could massage the list and act like I didn't like this song. But I clearly did. Playcount is an unbending meritocracy.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Top 50 Songs of 2009
As determined by playcount on my iPod. Songs were either released in 2009 or I just heard them for the first time in 2009.
50.) Sea Wolf - O Maria!
- Live version doesn't do the opening chords of this thumper justice. Been on every erg mix I've made in 2009.
49.) These United States - I Want You to Keep Everything
- Lots of runs on the West Side Highway to this song.
48.) The Roadside Graves - Women In Black
- No youtube video of this song so this instead.
47.) The xx - Islands
- The most influential album of the last 10 years is The Anniversary's "Designing A Nervous Breakdown." Indie bands have adopted the male-female lead singer dueling verses for the last ten years.
46.) Chester French - She Loves Everybody
-
45.) Team Genius - While We're Asleep
44.) Young Money w/ Lil' Wayne - Every Girl
- Question: What is the least likely song of 2009 to ever be played at a wedding?
~ Answer: This one.
43.) Phoenix - 1901
- It's ok if you're French and you want to sell your song to ads.
42.) Magic Kids - Hey Boy
- If your high school drama department stayed together and formed a band, this is how they'd sound.
41.) Kelly McRae - BQE
- Again, not on youtube. BQE is a much better tune.
50.) Sea Wolf - O Maria!
- Live version doesn't do the opening chords of this thumper justice. Been on every erg mix I've made in 2009.
49.) These United States - I Want You to Keep Everything
- Lots of runs on the West Side Highway to this song.
48.) The Roadside Graves - Women In Black
- No youtube video of this song so this instead.
47.) The xx - Islands
- The most influential album of the last 10 years is The Anniversary's "Designing A Nervous Breakdown." Indie bands have adopted the male-female lead singer dueling verses for the last ten years.
46.) Chester French - She Loves Everybody
-
45.) Team Genius - While We're Asleep
44.) Young Money w/ Lil' Wayne - Every Girl
- Question: What is the least likely song of 2009 to ever be played at a wedding?
~ Answer: This one.
43.) Phoenix - 1901
- It's ok if you're French and you want to sell your song to ads.
42.) Magic Kids - Hey Boy
- If your high school drama department stayed together and formed a band, this is how they'd sound.
41.) Kelly McRae - BQE
- Again, not on youtube. BQE is a much better tune.
Tiger Woods + Top 5 Celebrities Least Likely to Be Involved in a Cheating Scandal
My Mom told me the following joke this weekend:
"What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? ...Santa stops at 3 Hos."
When it's gotten to the point that my Mom can make fun of you in the proper context, your problem has gone nova. For perspective, my Mom has referred to the militant Islamists in Afghanistan as the "Taliband" since 9/11. Always with the -d on the end of the word, like Mullah Omar was just an angry, one-eyed bassist. My Mom could nurse you back to health and read your medical chart like it's her own personal Rosetta Stone, but she's rarely got all the details down for big stories.
Yet she's been following this Tiger story. Tiger is now the most famous philanderer since Jack Kennedy. Billion dollar athlete, top of his game, ubiquitous and squeaky clean media image- all came tumbling down because he was as awful at managing his infidelities as he was great at managing his public persona. Tiger, a voicemail to a mistress? 1. Don't have a mistress. 2. Especially don't have a mistress who has been desperate enough to go on a show called "Tool Academy." 3. Don't leave a voicemail. Your charisma-free robot voice is featured in dozens of commercials at any given time. It's immediately recognizable to anyone with a television.
Top 5 Celebrities Least Likely to be Involved in a Cheating Scandal:
5.) Kurt Warner
- Kurt is married to Jesus. He would never cheat on Jesus. Plus Brenda Warner got rid of her Dick Butkus flat top haircut.
4.) Michelle Obama
- Presidents have cheated before and been forgiven: JFK, Bill Clinton. But a first lady with young kids in the White House would shock and disappoint the nation. She's got too much to lose and every indication is they've got a great marriage. The nationwide "tssk, tssk" sessions would make Oprah's national sewing circle into a violent, fundamentalist guerilla front a la the Taliban nee Taliband.
3.) Kurt Russell
- Can't be involved in a cheating scandal when your lady has an "open door policy."
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/04/28/60minutes/main691732.shtml
2.) Doug Christie
- Read his wikipedia page. His wife attended every NBA game during his career and made him speak to her from the court via sign language. Christie's wife made him call before he went to sleep and when he woke up on the road. She plans another wedding for them every summer. Doug knows if he cheats, it may as well be a death sentence.
1.) Rick Warren
- Author of Purpose Driven Life. Sold millions and millions of books. People swear by the book and a cheating incident involving Rick Warren would transcend the typical Jim Baker-style preacher scandal. He doesn't sell morality like they do; he's not a huckster. Cheating scandal involving him would wreck his career but also the lives of people whom the book has affected.
"What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? ...Santa stops at 3 Hos."
When it's gotten to the point that my Mom can make fun of you in the proper context, your problem has gone nova. For perspective, my Mom has referred to the militant Islamists in Afghanistan as the "Taliband" since 9/11. Always with the -d on the end of the word, like Mullah Omar was just an angry, one-eyed bassist. My Mom could nurse you back to health and read your medical chart like it's her own personal Rosetta Stone, but she's rarely got all the details down for big stories.
Yet she's been following this Tiger story. Tiger is now the most famous philanderer since Jack Kennedy. Billion dollar athlete, top of his game, ubiquitous and squeaky clean media image- all came tumbling down because he was as awful at managing his infidelities as he was great at managing his public persona. Tiger, a voicemail to a mistress? 1. Don't have a mistress. 2. Especially don't have a mistress who has been desperate enough to go on a show called "Tool Academy." 3. Don't leave a voicemail. Your charisma-free robot voice is featured in dozens of commercials at any given time. It's immediately recognizable to anyone with a television.
Top 5 Celebrities Least Likely to be Involved in a Cheating Scandal:
5.) Kurt Warner
- Kurt is married to Jesus. He would never cheat on Jesus. Plus Brenda Warner got rid of her Dick Butkus flat top haircut.
4.) Michelle Obama
- Presidents have cheated before and been forgiven: JFK, Bill Clinton. But a first lady with young kids in the White House would shock and disappoint the nation. She's got too much to lose and every indication is they've got a great marriage. The nationwide "tssk, tssk" sessions would make Oprah's national sewing circle into a violent, fundamentalist guerilla front a la the Taliban nee Taliband.
3.) Kurt Russell
- Can't be involved in a cheating scandal when your lady has an "open door policy."
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/04/28/60minutes/main691732.shtml
2.) Doug Christie
- Read his wikipedia page. His wife attended every NBA game during his career and made him speak to her from the court via sign language. Christie's wife made him call before he went to sleep and when he woke up on the road. She plans another wedding for them every summer. Doug knows if he cheats, it may as well be a death sentence.
1.) Rick Warren
- Author of Purpose Driven Life. Sold millions and millions of books. People swear by the book and a cheating incident involving Rick Warren would transcend the typical Jim Baker-style preacher scandal. He doesn't sell morality like they do; he's not a huckster. Cheating scandal involving him would wreck his career but also the lives of people whom the book has affected.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
University of Sciences- Philadelphia Wrap-up.
Thanks very much to US-P. Crowd was hot from the jump, allowing the show to build momentum to the headliner. Glad we came in at just around 2 hours.
Snooki and The Situation were on Conan last night. The Situation has a rap album ready and Snooki didn't know steroids were illegal.
Go see the comics from last night's show! Tell your friends. Catch them at Helium in Philly or in New York. Each is linked below. In order of appearance, your comics were:
Aaron Hertzog
Jack Martin
Doogie Horner
Tommy Papa
Nick Cobb
and Sean Patton
Snooki and The Situation were on Conan last night. The Situation has a rap album ready and Snooki didn't know steroids were illegal.
Go see the comics from last night's show! Tell your friends. Catch them at Helium in Philly or in New York. Each is linked below. In order of appearance, your comics were:
Aaron Hertzog
Jack Martin
Doogie Horner
Tommy Papa
Nick Cobb
and Sean Patton
Saturday, December 12, 2009
4th Annual Toys For Tots Benefit: 10:30PM Saturday, December 19th at Gotham Comedy Club
4th Annual Toys For Tots show returns to Gotham Comedy Club!
Saturday, 12/19. 10:30 PM. Gotham Comedy Club. 208 West 23rd St. near 7th Avenue.
Cover charge is two new, unwrapped toys which go to families in need around the holidays. There is a two drink minium.
If you've never been, Gotham is beautiful. I book the show, so these will be my favorite comics in New York.
Why you should come:
- Show will make you laugh. And as the great American Lou Dobbs once said, "Laughter is the best Mexican."
- Your act of selfless kindness will insure that the less fortunate have a better holiday. According to the algebra of karma, one Toys for Tots show cancels out a month of Sundays at Tortilla Flats.
- It's the Saturday before Christmas at 10:30. You are going to be drinking heavily any way, why not do it indoors?
Why you may not come:
- "10:30 is too late." On a Saturday? For real? Well, please stay at home with the rest of the cast of 'Cocoon' talking about how things used to be better and who keeps stealing your pills.
- "I have another party that night." Awesome. My party is like your party except mine has a full bar and professional word-clowns. I'll see you at 10:30.
- "I'm a FunSponge." Fair enough. I'll see you on New Year's Eve when we fight over a cab. Or at a Super Bowl party when you're fighting with your girlfriend. Either way, Toys For Tots is not for you.
Line-up:
Pete Holmes
The Victorian Rapper
Rachel Feinstein
Matt Goldich
Jordan Carlos
...and surprise guests!
Friday, December 11, 2009
Top 5 Allen Iverson
Basketball is my favorite sport. I'd rather have rowed to exhaustion than been the 12th man for a terrible college team, so I went to Brown. But basketball is the most beautiful sport on Earth.
Iverson re-signed with the Sixers. Great, can he resuscitate Elton Brand? Can he at least intimidate Elton in to retiring and freeing up his awful contract? No. How about working on a flex capacitor so Allen can go back to 2008 and tell Ed Stefanski to sign Josh Smith rather than Elton?
Iverson was a fascinating athlete at his peak but he never understood how to play basketball well enough to win. It's a team game. Bill Simmons makes the argument that Iverson was surrounded by terrible teammates through his career. Agreed, George Lynch should not be on the floor for a championship hopeful in crunch-time minutes. Iverson carried a squad of 6th Bananas to the 2001 Finals. But if Iverson possessed the minimum self-awareness needed to succeed with his gifts, he would have used his speed to be the greatest transition and distribution point guard in the game. He did not because he could not. Which is why Detroit let him go. Which why Miami kicked the tires this off-season before remembering, "Oh shit. This guy goes 7- 23 more often than not. He'd poison the well."
Iverson is better than any player on the Cavs not named LeBron. He wasn't brought in for a look. Because his style is the opposite of cohesive. He is an icon whose time- and solipsistic style of hoops- has passed him by. He left some amazing feats of athleticism in his wake.
5.) Iverson over Tyrone Lue
4.) Follow Up Dunk on Camby
- That's a 5'10" guy sitting on a 7 footers back. Iverson was a genetic miscreant of an athlete.
3.) Poor Jacques Vaughn
- In his defense, his name is "Jacques Vaughn." He should have just gone by JaCques. (Pronounced Ja' Quezzz) No one would have known.
2.) Iverson Hits Like Dawkins
- 49seconds in. MMMMMMMGGGGooooooo!
1.) Adjust Mid-Air on a Missed Shot for Alley-Oop
- 48 seconds in again. It's the most athletic thing I've ever seen. We watched this before going to my Senior Prom.
Iverson re-signed with the Sixers. Great, can he resuscitate Elton Brand? Can he at least intimidate Elton in to retiring and freeing up his awful contract? No. How about working on a flex capacitor so Allen can go back to 2008 and tell Ed Stefanski to sign Josh Smith rather than Elton?
Iverson was a fascinating athlete at his peak but he never understood how to play basketball well enough to win. It's a team game. Bill Simmons makes the argument that Iverson was surrounded by terrible teammates through his career. Agreed, George Lynch should not be on the floor for a championship hopeful in crunch-time minutes. Iverson carried a squad of 6th Bananas to the 2001 Finals. But if Iverson possessed the minimum self-awareness needed to succeed with his gifts, he would have used his speed to be the greatest transition and distribution point guard in the game. He did not because he could not. Which is why Detroit let him go. Which why Miami kicked the tires this off-season before remembering, "Oh shit. This guy goes 7- 23 more often than not. He'd poison the well."
Iverson is better than any player on the Cavs not named LeBron. He wasn't brought in for a look. Because his style is the opposite of cohesive. He is an icon whose time- and solipsistic style of hoops- has passed him by. He left some amazing feats of athleticism in his wake.
5.) Iverson over Tyrone Lue
4.) Follow Up Dunk on Camby
- That's a 5'10" guy sitting on a 7 footers back. Iverson was a genetic miscreant of an athlete.
3.) Poor Jacques Vaughn
- In his defense, his name is "Jacques Vaughn." He should have just gone by JaCques. (Pronounced Ja' Quezzz) No one would have known.
2.) Iverson Hits Like Dawkins
- 49seconds in. MMMMMMMGGGGooooooo!
1.) Adjust Mid-Air on a Missed Shot for Alley-Oop
- 48 seconds in again. It's the most athletic thing I've ever seen. We watched this before going to my Senior Prom.
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